inspired

after reading a bunch of blogs... do you ever get inspired to write one?? well this is what just happened to me. i need to be finishing a support letter for lucas and my next trip to haiti. somehow i got to reading blogs of some incredible young women that are living there in haiti now. dana and ari. i was reading and trying my darndest to put myself in their shoes. living in haiti. what would it be like?? i do get a tiny test run. soon. from nov 20 - dec 26. 36 days i am planning to be in haiti... working alongside these girls whom i am admiring. what will this do to me?

so many possibilities are always right in front of me. the joy of being an american. i think it the curse of being an american. how do i discern what is right or best? for me? for everyone? in Gods eyes? jobs. ministries. opportunities. seize the day? how do i do that when my day is already seized before i get to it? pray? ask God for direction? am i ready and willing to accept his direction?

i have been a true follower of Jesus for 10 years now. i am always thinking that i should be in a better place spiritually than i am. more knowledgeable. more trusting. more discerning. more encouraging. feeling the Lords presence. confident in faith. leading others to Christ. being salt and light. being an ambassador. walking in truth. being stong and courageous.

i know im hard on myself... but then again... isnt the Lord hard on us?

"but the one who did not know it, and committed deeds worthy of a flogging, will receive but few. From everyone who has been given much, much will be required; and to whom they entrusted much, of him they will ask all the more." Luke 12:48

"So then each one of us will give an account of himself to God." Romans 14:12

"Now if any man builds on the foundation with gold, silver, precious stones, wood, hay, straw,each man's work will become evident; for the day will show it because it is to be revealed with fire, and the fire itself will test the quality of each man's work. If any man's work which he has built on it remains, he will receive a reward. If any man's work is burned up, he will suffer loss; but he himself will be saved, yet so as through fire." 1 Corinthians 3:12-1